PATIENCE or LACK THEREOF

I have little to no patience when it comes to difficult people.

But I also know when to keep my opinions to myself and when to offer a little sage advice. In most cases though, it is almost always wisest to do the former.

There are endless quotes when it comes to being patient.

Such as:

• My patience is basically like a gift card. Not sure how much is left, but, sure, let’s give it a whirl
• Patience is the ability to keep a smile on your face while silently screaming on the inside
• Patience is a virtue; but sarcasm is an art form

I could go on ad nauseam but I think you get the idea. I am not sure who came up with the above quotes but they are words to live by.

I have come full circle from being a young child with absolutely zero patience, to working age where I had to have some modicum of tolerance in order to survive the office. And here we are today as a full retiree with a daily urge to yell, “Get off my lawn you little whipper snappers!!”

Oh sure, I don’t really say that only because my arthritic knees and hips wouldn’t allow me to get to the front lawn fast enough. The little blighters would be long gone. Also, I’m a grown up, right? You would think I’d have mastered that adulting course by now, or at least squeaked by with a 60%.

In the small town where I grew up I think I remember some old man actually saying this exact phrase. Although at my current age my memory could be a little faulty. Maybe it’s only something I read about.

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE – or so my mother told me

As a very young child, I had absolutely no patience.

Is Christmas here yet? When are we going on vacation? Can we have tater tots for supper again? (for the millionth time in a row). Why can’t I have that [insert appropriate thing here…toy, kitten, puppy, game, etc. etc.]

Of course as I grew up I realized that patience is a virtue (or so my mother used to tell me) and she advised me to get a part time job so that I could earn my own money to pay for things while also learning how to deal with people and learn some patience.  And so my working years began while I was still in elementary school.

FIRST JOBS

Living in a small town meant that almost everybody knew everybody. This meant I didn’t have to have a background check by the FBI or undergo a lie detector test. Babysitting required little else other than telling prospective clients that yes, I some from a large family, I know how to change diapers and I can teach them simple games and crafts. Best thing is that most clients would say, “There are snacks in the fridge & on the kitchen table for both yourself and the children!”

The pay wasn’t much but it was a fairly easy gig. Parents today are a little more picky (as they should be) and demand a certificate in babysitting, CPR and more often than not a reference from other satisfied parents.

Babysitting instilled in me a greater sense of patience as my young charges would more often than not say things like, “My mom ALWAYS lets me use the sharp knife to cut my sandwich”, or “Mom said I can stay up as late as I want”.

The best line I remember a child saying was, “My parents always let me watch scary movies, trust me”. The kid is now in therapy I’m sure.

Trust ME. Never, ever believe any small human who is less than 4 feet high especially when you’re babysitting them for the first time. I quickly became wise to their unreasonable demands the second time around.

There were a series of other part time jobs each one teaching me patience in different ways so by the time I hit the actual full time employment years I was somewhat prepared to deal with grown up versions of little Johnny who wanted to use the sharp knife or Sarah who demanded to watch scary movies all the time.

DEALING WITH PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF WORK

 As we all know, life is not just about work, it’s walking that paltry little pay check to the bank (cause’ it’s too little to go by itself) and dealing with life in general. For you young whipper snappers, this was pre-internet and we actually got paid with a physical check.

As adults, we had to learn to deal with all kinds of people (bosses, co-workers, neighbors, repairmen, etc.).

We’ve all come across difficult people that we really wanted to say something to but didn’t because, hey, we’re adults, right?

I have encountered some difficult people in the past and here are a few examples.

FRESH FRUIT FONDLER

 Yes, grocery shopping is always an experience, right? Something right out of a Steven Spielberg Apocalyptic movie plot that is. We move though the grocery aisles like zombies, minding our own business while trying to keep the personal space bubble around us intact.  If someone invades said space we give them the stink eye and move away.

And then along came the Fresh Fruit Fondler.

Sniffling, sneezing & coughing to boot. He parted the aisles like Moses and the Red Sea.

I furtively observed him out of the corner of my eye and saw him touch every single tomato, avocado, orange etc. He actually sneezed directly towards the produce and then walked away without buying anything.

I know, I know. I could very well take them and wash them at home (which you should always do with fresh produce anyways) but I’d have to put those clear, plastic fresh produce bags over my hands before I’d even think of touching any of the fresh fruits/vegetables.  That is, of course, if I could get over the Ick factor.

Suffice to say, for a while at least, I tried to purchase mostly frozen fruits and vegetables and meat until my family staged an intervention. Frozen Tater tots by the way can be used in a surprising number of different casseroles!

I wished a very speedy recovery to the Fresh Fruit Fondler.

BREAD, CAKES and MUFFINS OH MY!

First off I want to emphasize, I had absolutely NO idea why she was buying so many baked goods and NOR was it any of my business.

Perhaps she was buying for her favorite old age home, a retirement party or was she simply an Apocalypse Prepper? What I am talking about though was simply the exasperation felt by the other patrons. Perhaps none of us had passed the “Adulting Patience 101” course?

I saw her at my favorite bakery and while she was first in line and fully entitled to whatever she wanted, it became an exercise in testing the tolerance of the 6 customers waiting in line.

Sure, she bought some bread (it’s a bakery, right?) but then began her long soliloquy. “How many buns do you have left” she asked. And without waiting for the baker to answer she said, “Oh, I’ll just take everything you have!”

This went on for some time as she went through a long list which took the baker at least 25 minutes to gather her asked for items. A long sigh erupted among those of us waiting in line. Consequently one customer just gave up and left the store likely thinking there wouldn’t be any goods remaining when his turn finally came.

I wish her the best of luck with all her baked goods, I really do. I wanted to be invited to the party where all the delicious items will be displayed & eaten!

This is one instance where it is best to stay quiet and repeat the words, “Bread doesn’t matter, bread doesn’t matter, breathe in, breathe out….”

I hope she had a good time at the party she was going to attend.

NO SOCKS & RUNNERS

I leave this for last as she really tested my patience.

Ok, so I’m in this shoe outlet store with my daughter. She needed new running shoes and so here we come upon a customer wearing NO socks with her current running shoes, (is that a hip trend I should be following?).

This particular customer was trying on new runners with her bare feet. The store didn’t even provide those inadequate disposable nylon socks and so she was trying on everything she could get her hands on. (umm, make that get her feet into)

While said patron was only trying on size 9 shoes, my daughter (who is a size 7 & was wearing socks) quickly found the shoes she was looking for. She promptly sprayed them with a disinfectant spray when we got home just in case “No Socks” had tried to put her toes in them. By the way, disinfecting is always a good idea as you just never know who tried on the shoes before you did.

In any case I hope “No Socks” found the shoes she was looking for and is happy with her purchase! I wish you the best of luck with hiking, jogging, or just going out and about doing errands.

Also, a word of advice to ALL shoe stores. PLEASE provide a good supply of disposable sockettes that don’t rip the moment we try to put them on. Thank you.

LESSONS LEARNED

Living this long is a privilege that not many attain and I am grateful.

I have now lived for more than 6 decades (GASP! even seeing this written down is astonishing to me!). I am finally at a stage in my life where I can use all of my life’s experiences (good and bad) and have the gumption to actually say what I want but also the wisdom to know when to sigh, keep my thoughts in a “bubble” and  file it away as a lesson learned.

I am thinking I should re-take that Adulting course in Patience. Maybe this time I’ll pass with flying colors.